How Parenting Coaches Help with Time Management and Routines
In parenting, there is a lot of what I call low-hanging fruit.
One of the smartest things you can do is to invest the time, energy (and even money) to take care of the low-hanging fruit.
What do I mean by that?
Are you running around like a chicken with your head cut off every morning?
When you only have yourself to think of, you don’t have to be that efficient. If it takes you a moment longer to find your left shoe or your car keys before you head out the door, it probably still feels manageable.
But now you are a parent. Not only do you have to find your own shoes, you have to find your kids’ shoes and get them on their feet. (Oh, and don’t forget your child’s favorite Hot Wheel. No, not the blue one. The red one!)
All of a sudden, concepts like having a shoe cubby and insisting that everyone take their shoes off as soon as they come in the door make a lot of sense.
I will confess, the other day I had to laugh at myself. With kids long grown and flown, I have gotten out of the habit of keeping track of my shoes as I walk in from outside. And there I was—searching for my clogs high and low—so I could make it in time to yoga.
As an adult, it's not a big deal. But for families, not stressing over shoes, jackets, backpacks, water bottles, not to mention soccer uniforms, lunch money and permission slips, is a huge game changer.
A good parenting coach will not only help with how to interact lovingly and effectively with your child, they will also help you solve the problems of daily living that—when things go wrong—can have children melting down and parents pulling out their hair.
The biggest gift you can give your children is your presence.
Unfortunately, there is a difference between being present and giving your children your presence.
Being present means being in the same room. It means that you are there if your child gets hurt. It might even mean getting them the drink they want and cutting off the crusts from their sandwiches.
But you can do all that (and probably already do all that) on autopilot.
Giving your children your presence means talking, playing and laughing with your kids. It means connecting while doing something side by side, like cooking dinner. It means turning off the stove and really looking them in the eye as they share something so they feel seen, heard and understood. It means sitting with them non-judgmentally as they run through their emotions from A to Z.
Systems and routines free up time so that you can be present for your kids.
What does parenting coaching have to do with figuring out how, for example, to efficiently shop, prep and get meals on the table?
Well, before we solve for how to mitigate your children’s tantrums, let’s free you up so you can actually connect with your kids.
There are so many ways to make running a household easier.
For the most bang for your buck, I recommend you start with how you are getting your family fed every night.
I strongly recommend having a two-week meal rotation.
Pick two weeks ’ worth of meals you feel reasonably good about serving your family. Ideally, they are meals that freeze well or can be made from frozen, dried, or canned staples.
If your kids are a little older, they can go online and do their own research and make their own recommendations.
Once you have your fourteen meals, make up a master shopping list that enumerates how many boxes of pasta, how many pounds of ground meat, and how many cups of chopped onions, etc., you are going to need.
Checking off what you already have on hand and how much you need to buy is a great job for kids in third grade and up.
Don’t like this solution?
Okay. Let’s think of another. Or another. Or another.
As a parenting coach, that’s my job: Keep throwing out ideas until you land upon something that feels right for your family.
I don’t care how you do it: I just don’t want you feeling that you have failed to get your kids fed peacefully, to be the whip you are flailing yourself with at two in the morning.
Implementing systems and routines reduces decision fatigue.
One of the biggest burdens of parenting is the constant barrage of decisions you have to make.
A lot of them only you or your parenting partner can decide for the moment—how soon will Johnny need bigger shoes, are you doing a good enough job with Janet’s teeth, does Joey need a reading coach, etc.
But a lot of decisions you can actually develop routines for: no gaming until homework is done, lights out by 9 pm, hot chocolate after games but not after practices, towels and sheets get washed on Mondays, family clean-up party is on Sundays at 9am.
Now, when your kids ask to play video games or beg for hot chocolate, you just shake your head.
Now your kids complain about clean-up parties as they head towards the broom closet instead of refusing to move from the couch.
As you follow the routine—like disciplining yourself to wash the towels because it is Monday—you realize the benefit when you’re not grossed out by dirty towels later in the week. What used to be a source of stress has now been solved.
The best reason for systems and routines is it helps with the mental load.
When you and your parenting partner sit down and create agreements for how and when to do things—things like checking the batteries in the smoke detector, sorting through the kids’ outgrown clothes and fishing the hair out of the shower drain—you can assign the job to one parent, and the other parent can let it go.
My husband and his ex-wife split co-parenting responsibilities like this: Mom did doctor appointments, after-school activities, and fall clothes shopping. Dad did dentist appointments, summer camps and spring clothes shopping.
Knowing what was on his list, my husband followed through with his boys’ needs. On the other hand, he didn’t worry about what wasn’t on his list; he trusted his ex-wife would take care of things.
Even though they were parenting from two households, they had a system that made both households run more smoothly.
If you are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, a parenting coach might be the best investment you ever make.
What do my clients say after working with me? They say they feel calmer and more confident. They say they are more patient and more loving. And they say they are more fun and more joyful.
Why wait. Sign up today for a complimentary Getting to Know You call, and let’s talk about what daily sticking points might be easily addressed.
It would be an honor to work with you.